Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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