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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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