If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
