I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Found your dick twin last night
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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