boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
