Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
