soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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