we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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