from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
