Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
