Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
