so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
