had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
