You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
