I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
What drink are we having for lunch?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
