Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
