Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
