Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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