just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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