I am in a vortex of obligation.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize