I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
