one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
he was CRYING into my vagina
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
