If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
