I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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