Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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