Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Small penises have feelings too.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
