worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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