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I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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