no you cant smoke seaweed
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
