I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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