You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I think I just sharted jello shots
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
