I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize