I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Randomize
