he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
