I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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