I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
