I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
