Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
