once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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