Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
