I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
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