I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
