What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Come on in and take your pants off
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