The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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