nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
