FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
