Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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