his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
