No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
