conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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