Too much gin, very little bucket
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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