So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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