I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize