I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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