i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
The struggles of a small town man whore
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
