He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
