dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
