Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
