I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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