But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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