My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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